Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Another Thought about Dating, the Internet and Honesty
During the discussion I describe below, I asked the mostly young, mostly single people in the room, why there was such a stigma against using Internet dating sites.
"Because it makes you seem desperate," was the overwhelming reply.
It amazes me anyone ever gets married.
Perhaps this is most prevelant in the Evangelical subculture, though I suspect some aspect of this phenomena cuts across society. Some single people want very badly to get married, yet most punish with rejection anyone who fails to conceal that fact convincingly.
People who conceal the desire to be married are seen as normal while someone who admits it, who wants to be a good spouse, and is doing everything possible, like using an Internet dating service, to meet someone they can love and serve in the context of marriage is seen as "desperate" and therefore undesirable.
Wouldn't this all be easier if we could own our desires and be a little more frank about them?
"Because it makes you seem desperate," was the overwhelming reply.
It amazes me anyone ever gets married.
Perhaps this is most prevelant in the Evangelical subculture, though I suspect some aspect of this phenomena cuts across society. Some single people want very badly to get married, yet most punish with rejection anyone who fails to conceal that fact convincingly.
People who conceal the desire to be married are seen as normal while someone who admits it, who wants to be a good spouse, and is doing everything possible, like using an Internet dating service, to meet someone they can love and serve in the context of marriage is seen as "desperate" and therefore undesirable.
Wouldn't this all be easier if we could own our desires and be a little more frank about them?
// posted by Dean @ Tuesday, July 27, 2004 
